A joint study from the University of Rochester and the University of Notre Dame has connected problems in the home with problems at school. Melissa Sturge-Apple, the lead researcher on the paper and an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Rochester writes, “Families can be a support and resource for children as they enter school, or they can be a source of stress, distraction, and maladaptive behavior.” She also goes on to say, “This study shows that cold and controlling family environments are linked to a growing cascade of difficulties for children in their first three years of school, from aggressive and disruptive behavior to depression and alienation. The study also finds that children from families marked by high levels of conflict and intrusive parenting increasingly struggle with anxiety and social withdrawal as they navigate their early school years.”
I do not agree with all the assumptions on which many of these types of studies are often based, but the conclusion that what happens at home can affect how children behave is nothing new to those familiar with Scripture. I remember my wife, a school teacher, having this discussion with a principal years ago, regarding a student whose home life was intruding in schoolwork. The principal responded that nothing happening in the home affects a student’s learning. Yes, I could not believe that statement either. As adults, we know how difficult it can be to leave problems at home behind in other areas of life. How much more for children?
The more parents abandon biblical principles for rearing children, the more problems we will find. God is our Creator, and He knows how we best function, how we should interact with each other. What He reveals to us in the Bible is what is best for us, because He loves us and only has our best interests at heart.
So, God instructs parents, fathers specifically, “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Mothers and wives are to be taught “to love their husbands and to love their children” (Titus 2:4). Husbands must “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:24). Such an environment makes it much easier for children to “obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1).
There can be all kinds of problems that enter into relationships. It is horrible when people’s lives go awry, and everyone suffers, including children. What happens in the home can go with them the rest of their lives, for better or worse. When the lessons children learn at home are for the worse, it not only affects their today, but their tomorrows. Further, those lessons, sadly, can be passed on to future generations, not just educationally, but in how they interact with families of their own.
The problem is sin, but the solution is Christ and His will for our lives. It has to be made active in our lives, though, lived out, for our children to see and to desire to live it out in their lives. They have to be lived out if our children are to understand their value for their lives. Isn’t it worth it, not just for our own salvation, but for that of our children and grandchildren? Satan has done a masterful job of deceiving so many in the world that the Bible is irrelevant. In its pages, however, is the key to better homes, schools and society. “A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance” (John 10:10).
