Brother Rushmore, May a woman separate from her husband because of his repeated drug use, live a celibate life, and still be pleasing to the Lord? The husband is repeatedly “sorry” yet does not change his behavior. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you very much. [name withheld upon request]
Ideally, God intends marriages to last for life (Romans 7:1-3). God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Jesus re-instituted God’s original plan for marriage (Matthew 19:4-6; Genesis 2:20-25), though he provided a single instance for which the innocent spouse of a marriage marred by adultery may divorce the adulterous spouse and has an option to marry a biblically eligible candidate later (Matthew 19:9). The apostle Paul reaffirmed the teaching of Jesus respecting the permanence of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:10-14). If a divorce (or separation) occurs, though, both spouses must be celibate or be reconciled (1 Corinthians 7:11). When a divorce is forced on a faithful child of God, that child of God is not guilty before God for the disruption of the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15), though desertion alone still does not permit the deserted spouse to remarry.
Brethren typically refer to 2 Corinthians 6:14 when cautioning people, who are thinking about getting married, not to marry non-Christians. The passage of 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 does not specifically apply to but includes marriage, along with business or any other relationships where Christians are likely to be influenced to commit sin. Strictly speaking, the passage is not a prohibition from marrying non-Christians, entering business relationships with non-Christians or having other relationships with non-Christians, as long as those relationships are not likely to cause the child of God to sin. The point for our consideration has to do with verse 17, “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.” More than warning Christians from initializing relationships with non-Christians whose corrupting influence is certain to cause Christians to sin, the passage addresses relationships that already exist between Christians and non-Christians where the corrupting influence of the non-Christians is certain to or is causing Christians to sin.
It is on the basis of the principle in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 that a Christian woman, for instance, must in some instances remove herself (and possibly children as well) from harm’s way (i.e., physical and spiritual). Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, illegal activities, physical and emotional abuse by one’s spouse endanger one’s body and soul.
Still, a future remarriage by either spouse where fornication is not involved is not permitted (Matthew 19:9), and separated spouses are biblically required to be celibate while apart and reconcile if they can (1 Corinthians 7:11). Sin occurs whenever spouses divorce or separate, though sin may not be attributable to both spouses (e.g., divorce because of adultery, Matthew 19:9; divorce or separation because of desertion, 1 Corinthians 7:15; divorce or separation for physical or spiritual safety reasons, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). Much like 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, the apostle Paul warned Christians at Ephesus about intimacy with wickedness, and nowhere is intimacy greater than in marriage, and nowhere is there greater potential for the effect of wickedness than in the intimacy of marriage: “And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.”
