Good day to you! I was hoping to get some insight regarding an issue that I am most puzzled about. GOD has that special someone for most of us, right? I’ve heard Pastors say that the LORD has someone for me and I will know it when that special person comes into my life, If I marry her or not is up to me. I believe I met this person and she has the basic qualities I’m looking for, i.e. Is a believer but she has a 7 year old child that I did not expect. My question … Could the LORD really send me my mate with a 7 year old? Am I looking at her having a child something that I should not necessarily take as a negative, but a blessing? HOW? GOD also says to obey my Mom and Dad and If they feel I should not be with her, do I take that as good advise because they are judgmental and don’t want me to be involved with someone that already has a child? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated as this is something that is really bothering me. GOD bless, Frank
There is nothing in the Bible of which I am aware that teaches “GOD has that special someone for most of us.” Obviously, God presented one woman, Eve, to Adam and she was “that special someone” for Adam and there could be no others. Further, God may have determined and executed through providence that certain others in biblical history should have opportunity to marry certain ones (e.g., Ruth and Boaz, Esther and a Persian king, Mary and Joseph, etc.). However, this side of genealogies pertaining to the carnation of the Messiah, Scripture does not reveal whether God ‘sends’ anyone a mate.
Instead, God, through Scripture, indicates who are biblically permissible candidates for marriage from whom each may choose a marriage partner. It is apparent from Matthew 19:9 that (1) the never married and (2) the innocent person who divorces his or her spouse for adultery are permitted by God to marry; “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” In addition, (3) a widowed person may marry with God’s approval (Romans 7:2-3). Further, (4) whomever one marries must be a person who does not influence his or her spouse to sin (1 Corinthians 6:14-19; 7:39). It is best that practicing Christians marry practicing Christians (1 Corinthians 7:10-16).
The presence of a child, irrespective of whether the result of fornication (for which one has repented) and an illegitimate birth or from a previous marriage (which ended due to the death of a spouse or as an innocent party divorced an adulterous spouse), is immaterial to the biblical qualifications of marriage. Whether one who has a child is a suitable prospective spouse is a matter of personal decision, as long as Matthew 19:9, Romans 7:2-3 and related passages about marriage are not violated.
When two people marry, they are to leave and cleave (Genesis 2:24). Therefore, to a large extent, every married couple is to establish itself as an independent home, which does not permit either set of parents to rule that home. Yet, at least from a practical consideration, one ought to carefully consider how one’s choices as an adult (including marriage) will affect his and his family’s relationship with in-laws on both sides — before making those choices. Respect for one’s parents (Ephesians 6:2) ought to prompt even adult children to evaluate parental advice, even though one may not be still a child who is obligated to submissively obey his parent’s wishes (Ephesians 6:1).
Ultimately, based on biblical considerations such as those expressed in the foregoing, you have to make a personal decision whether a woman with a child is a suitable candidate for marriage for you. Your prospective spouse bears weighty responsibility also regarding the biblical qualifications (as so do you) by which God will approve your marriage.
