Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil. (1 John 3:7-8 NKJV)
While studying recently for a series of lessons I am presenting at our congregation, I ran across some research that was done among teenagers who left the church after they reached college age and moved off to make their way in the world independent of their parents’ influence. The study gave a lot of facts and figures, but one figure just floored me. Based on this study, over 60% of all the kids that were part of some church or youth group in their teens would end up leaving those pursuits behind by the time they reached college. The same study said that only about 35% would return to some religious mooring during the remainder of their lives, and fewer would return to the church of their fathers.
As the researchers began to dissect the results, what they found, as far as reasons for why there was so large a trend of departure from faith, was that the fundamental disconnect between what parents believe and how they act was a significant factor in children deciding to leave. In other words, the rate of failure to retain and actually live out the Christian life on an ongoing basis depended a great deal on whether or not mom and dad actually modeled the teachings they called their children to adopt.
As one of the research analysts said, “One of the biggest reasons children leave the church is because they see mom and dad treat religion as if it were nothing more than a hobby.” Of course, this is not just a failing on the parent end of the spectrum. Children look up to older members who ought to be wise for their example of what a Christian really looks like beyond the inspired page: deacons, elders and many others. When the example fails, then the spiritual baby is thrown out with the hypocritical bath water, and children slowly make their way to the world and away from faith.
So, what type of example are you? When the kids at your church or in your home observe your behavior, does it make them want to be stronger like you? Does it challenge them to grow? Does it create in them a fire for godliness? Or, do they run from the church, thinking, “What a bunch of hypocrites”? Whether you believe it, like it or not, you have a part in this 60% departure rate or the 35% retention rate. Which is it? Now, let us not make excuses. I fully understand that each and every one of us is responsible for our own deeds, but to pretend that there is no accountability for how we treat others would be like trying to say that our neighbor in the command to love one’s neighbor as yourself is no one other than self.
Consider with all soberness what kind of example you set for those who are desperately seeking an example to follow. Where are you leading them?
[Editor’s Note: As a husband and as a father, besides the potential influence on others outside my immediate family, I have pondered and still mull over again from time to time to what eternity I have led my wife and my children. When my wife Bonnie died, I was struck with the heart-pounding question to myself, “Did I help her on her journey to Heaven or to Hell?” She thanked me just before she died for leading her to become a Christian, but beyond that, did I help her prepare to meet God in the Judgment (Amos 4:12)? As I see the ups and downs in my children’s lives, I question whether their mother and I sufficiently mirrored in our lives the Christ we profess to adore, so that our children might wholly embrace Jesus Christ as their Lord and demonstrate a vibrant, faithful Christianity in their lives. Aside from the personal spiritual successes of my children, I know that as their father, I should have been a better Christian example. The point is, that until we as Christians “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33), even the Lord’s church will continue to suffer staggering losses of its young people from “the like precious faith” (2 Peter 1:1). Until we stop treating the church of Christ and Christianity like our version of a social club, we will continue to lose our young people. ~ Louis Rushmore, Editor]
