“Set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12). Influence is something we exert all the time, whether we realize it or not. The words we speak and the lives we live reflect who we are and our value system in action on display for others to observe. Depending on your relationship with others, the example your influence shows may be imitated by others, such as friends or family. Especially young children are very impressionable and open to input in shaping their morals and ideals. This is perhaps realized no better than when we reach adulthood and say something that was repeated to us many times by our parents, and remark, “I’ve become my mother (or father)!”
Certainly not every behavior is attributable to the influence of someone’s example, as each person is a unique individual and will grow up to make his or her own choices about how to live life. However, one’s example, whether for good or bad, can and often does factor into the process of shaping the lives of others. I remember a police officer relating a story to me, having taken a juvenile home for breaking and entering, only to have the child’s parent lecture the officer and then tell the child he didn’t have to do anything the officer said. Should we wonder where that child had learned criminal behavior was acceptable?
The same principle applies spiritually as well. Statistics indicate that children whose parents attend all services faithfully and who are involved in the work of the church are more likely to be faithful themselves. Conversely, those parents who attend only once in a while and are not involved in the work of the church will find their children less motivated to be faithful in their own lives as adults. How many stories could be related of uninvolved parents or parents who allowed physical pursuits to always take precedent over the spiritual where their children drifted away and have no interest in the church as adults? Certainly, even parents who do their best to live faithful lives and so instruct their children to do the same will be challenged by the influence of the world in which we live. Yet, what are the percentages for these young people when their parents and other influential examples in their lives are not faithful to the assembly, to the work of the church and to Christian living in the home?
How easy it is to shake one’s head at the way things are but refuse to look at one’s own influence and example. If you show no respect, you shouldn’t be surprised when those around are disrespectful. If you show no love, don’t be surprised when others are unloving. If you reject the authority of others, don’t be dumbfounded when others reject your authority regarding them. If you aren’t an obedient child of God, don’t blame others until you have first looked at yourself. Most psychologists affirm it is difficult for children to rise above their parents, as the power of their example works to help shape their lives.
As a young man, Timothy in the above Scripture was encouraged by Paul to set a proper example to others, as well he should. How about those who are older in the faith? Paul urged Titus to remind older men and women to be positive in their relations with others (Titus 2:2-3). We cannot imbibe the spirit of the world and expect those who see us to learn anything different. While words of encouragement are important, lives of encouragement are just as important. John reminds us, “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18). What is the heritage our lives will leave for those following us? Just what kind of example do you set?
