The inspired writer, James, talked about the tongue and spoke of how hard it is to control (James 3). All of us need reminding of the poisoning that the tongue can do from time to time. A reminder of a few basic concepts will be good for us all. I know that I need this reminder from time to time.
Always ask, “How will what I say make others feel?” Way too often we “let our mouths run before we put our minds in gear,” as the old saying goes. It is one of the most desperate feelings when you realize you have said something that should not have been said, and you realize that once it is said it cannot be “unsaid.”
Always ask, “Why am I saying what I am saying?” In other words, what is my motive for saying this? Sometimes, we talk just to be talking. Sometimes, we really want to communicate with others. Sometimes, if we are not careful, we speak to hurt others. At those times, we use words as weapons, and they can be weapons of destruction—even mass destruction!
Always ask, “What is the best thing I can say in the present circumstance?” If I am going to speak, I need to carefully consider what the most beneficial words will be. I have often thought that we ought to have training classes on how to speak to people who are ill or in the hospital, to children, to expectant mothers, to those who are mourning, etc. Too often, our words cause more harm than good, if not well thought out.
Always ask, “Is this a time when silence will be better than talking?” I think that one of my biggest problems is feeling like I have to say something and forgetting that sometimes “silence is golden.”
The bottom line is simple; we need to think seriously before we talk—all the time. That is a simple idea, but it is hard to put into practice. We would be much better off if we would think seriously first—before saying anything.
