How often have you “put your foot in your mouth”? Too often we speak hastily. I have said before that “I’m ambidextrous – I can put either foot in my mouth.” The oft spoken parental proverb says, “Put brain in gear, before engaging mouth.” The Bible has this admonition on the subject: “But let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).
Listening is a skill that needs to be developed by exercise. Attentiveness and concentration are needed ingredients for being a good listener. Not too many years ago, it was expected that children respectfully remain mostly silent while adults were speaking. Children were encouraged to learn to listen and to develop restraint. Unfortunately, we live in a time when personal responsibility has been largely rejected or at least minimized. The hugely popular diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is disturbing, but not surprising. Popular media and merchandise marketing strategies all push in unison for people to “follow their impulses.” We are told in varying ways: “You deserve happiness, so grab what you want.” Such self-centeredness is an enemy of self restraint. Such a focus upon self does not promote patience in listening to others.
Listen to what is found at Encyclopedia.com. “Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not a clinically definable illness or disease. Rather, as of December 2003, ADHD is a diagnosis that is made for children and adults who display certain behaviors over an extended period of time. The most common of these behavioral criteria are inattention, hyperactivity, and marked impulsiveness.” Our intent is not to discredit all such diagnoses but to raise legitimate concern. Is it any wonder that children are acting similar to what they see in adults? We all are being conditioned to act on impulse. If a multitude of influences bombard us to act impulsively, then speaking impulsively is to be expected.
If couples develop the habit of yelling at each other, should we label it a “disorder” and coin an acronym for it? How about “CDD (Communication Deficit Disorder)”? It would not be a clinically definable illness or disease, but could be a diagnosis made for children and adults who display yelling behavior over an extended period of time.
Those who choose to exercise self-restraint will pause and take time to listen with attentiveness to others. There is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” said Solomon (Ecclesiastes 3:7). “In the multitude of words there wanteth not transgression; But he that refraineth his lips doeth wisely” (Proverbs 10:19). What listening skills do you have?
