Hello I am writing because I’m going through a unique situation. I live with my gf but the thing is we are both believers in God but were both married. Her husband abused her and they’ve been separated for years. My wife and I have been separated a year. She confessed to cheating on me before and during our marriage but she left me. My gf and I are both going to divorce our spouses but is it wrong we fell in love and live together? And both our marriages were civil. ~ Adrian Velez
Frankly, there is nothing “unique” about this “situation.” The same scenario has been repeated across the globe for nearly as long as mankind has inhabited planet earth. In every religious time, Almighty God has strictly forbidden fornication, adultery and marriages not authorized by Him. Everyone now living, though, is governed by the New Testament – whether one accepts that fact or not (John 12:48; 1 Timothy 2:5; Hebrews 9:15).
Whereas one might flee an abusive marriage partner in self-defense, though the ideal is to remain together or resume the marriage when possible (1 Corinthians 7:10-11), our Lord Jesus Christ only provided one exception whereupon someone may divorce his or her mate and subsequently enter into a marriage with another eligible partner. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 NKJV). The apostle Paul wrote by divine inspiration that there is one additional exception whereupon a spouse may marry another – when one’s marriage partner has died. “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man” (Romans 7:2-3).
All marriages are both civil (regulated by human laws) and religious (regulated by divine law – for us, the New Testament). Furthermore, marriage is an institution brought about by God and governed by Him irrespective of whether humans acknowledge His right to govern it. When there is a conflict between human law and the law of God, God’s law triumphs – we must in those instances “obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
We humans are naïve to think that we can conduct ourselves in violation of God’s revealed will for us and somehow later gain His approval for our disobedience. Our emotional investment does not change sinful activity into sanctified behavior. Sometimes, we must make difficult and painful decisions to bring ourselves into the good graces of God; such was the case for God’s children in Ezra 10:2-3. Happily, 1 Corinthians 6:11 assures us that when we put sin out of our lives we can be “washed… sanctified… justified in the name of the Lord Jesus…”
