Song of Solomon 3:1-4 provides an interesting “dream story.” The story is plainly told, but the application of it can be difficult to grasp. It seems clear that the Shulamite, just a few days before her wedding to Solomon, was concerned about his devotion to her. Several nights came and went, but there was no sign of Solomon. His absence spoke volumes to her about his commitment. She decided to find him and had to go through some effort to do so. Finally, she succeeded in finding him and embraced him with all her strength. There are some valuable lessons that can be learned from this short little story.
First, it is logical that both the man and the woman will have some doubts and reservations before they “tie the knot.” Marriage is a big day, and arguably the second most important day of one’s life (the first would be to put on Christ in baptism). When a couple considers the permanency of this move (God binds them, Matthew 19:6, and the expectation is that the two will stay together for the rest of their lives), it can be quite intimidating. Yet, these thoughts are good and healthy. The man and the woman need to look long and hard into the decision they are about to make. They need to have a high level of assurance that “he is the one for me” and that “she is the one for me.”
Second, when there are doubts about the love and the commitment of the other, be proactive in getting it resolved. The Shulamite could have stubbornly said, “We’ll see how long it takes before he finally shows up!” Instead, she went out to find him. This was not an easy task for a country girl trying to navigate her way through a big city. However, her willingness to do this (even at night) showed her level of commitment. She just needed to learn about Solomon’s level of commitment. As couples approach their wedding day, they should have long talks with each other. This is the time to learn as much about the desires, goals, dreams and aspirations of the other as possible. It is, especially, the time to see each other’s level of commitment to God. The bottom line is that he or she will not be a good life-mate if there is not a true, genuine devotion to God.
Third, when doubts are removed, it is time to move on in love and in trust. It is not healthy for one to live day-to-day wondering about a partner’s commitment. When the Shulamite found Solomon, she hugged him and would not let him go. He was her choice, and she was comfortable with it. She also was comfortable with his level of commitment to her. In a short time, they were to be married.
