The loss of grandparents is something we are likely to face at some point. Those of us who have lost our grandparents, depending on one’s age and relationship, remember that loss with varying emotions. Some of us who have lost both parents are now grandparents. Some of us have suffered the loss of our spouse and the void that was left had to be addressed with the grandchildren. Some of us were brought up by our grandparents for any number of reasons. If the relationship was close, you were probably greatly affected when they died.
Don Williams (2015) stated:
In early America, death was a familiar experience. When several generations of a family lived in the same house, children became aware of aging, illness and death. With life somewhat like that of The Waltons, children watched as Grandpa and Grandma grew old and eventually died. They gathered with other family members when death occurred, and knew what funerals and “wakes” were all about. These were normally held in the home. Children of early America realized that a significant loss had occurred, and they would experience tears and sorrow. Death was something that was a regular part of their lives as animals would regularly die. Death was not a mystery to children in early America. (99)
In their book, Grieving with Hope, Samuel J. Hodges, IV and Kathy Leonard state:
One difference between grieving adults and children is that children grieve intermittently. Whereas adults feel they are constantly flailing in a tidal wave of emotions, children will experience those strong emotions and then take a break. The next thing you know, they’re playing with their friends, laughing, and having fun. Recognize that your children are grieving and be there to help, but also allow your children to be children. (70)
Hodges and Leonard advise:
When you talk to your children about death, it’s important to use truthful, age-appropriate language. Avoid abstract euphemisms. For example, telling children “Grandpa has gone on a long journey” isn’t helpful. The next time you tell your children you’re going on a long trip, they may conclude you’re about to die. Depending on the age of the children, you may be able to say something as simple as, “Grandpa’s body stopped working, and now he is in heaven.” If your children have more questions about what it means to die, H. Norman Wright advises you to speak in short, simple statements that communicate what death is and that it is permanent. He gives an example: “Death means Grandfather won’t be able to do what he used to do. He won’t be able to talk. He won’t be able to feel. He won’t be able to walk. He can’t eat or drink. He doesn’t breathe anymore. His body is no longer going to be here.”
Norm continues, “You need to give as much information as the children can handle according to their age level, and you’ve got to be honest” (72-73).
Notable quotes from God’s Little Devotional Book for Grandparents.
- A grandparent is a builder of dreams and a sculptor of souls.
- Grandma and Grandpa’s house: where the great are small and the small are great.
- The riches stored in a grandparent’s heart can never be stolen.
- The greatest inheritance you can give your grandchildren is your faith.
- Godly grandparents make life grand.
- The most important thing that a grandpa can do for his grandchildren is love their grandma.
- Christian grandparents never say goodbye—they say “See you later!”
- Children rarely respond to long speeches. But they are all ears if you let God make you His object lesson.
Biblical References to Grandparents
- Genesis 48:1-9 – Joseph took his two sons Manasseh and Ephraim with him when he was told that his father Jacob was sick. This would be the first time they were actually introduced to their grandfather. Jacob blessed them before he died. What a priceless legacy to cherish!
- Samuel 8:1-5 – Samuel had two sons, Joel and Abijah. He had made them judges over Israel. Unlike their father, his sons were corrupt! Joel and Abijah turned aside after dishonest gain, took bribes and perverted justice. Their father Samuel followed the commands of God his entire life. The very godly Elkanah and Hannah were their grandparents. One can only imagine the heartache Samuel endured! Countless parents and grandparents can definitely attest to their children and grandchildren bringing untold pain, sorrow and grief to their families.
- Deuteronomy 4:9 – Moses commanded the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land when he said, “Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren.”
- Psalm 103:17-18 – “But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children’s children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them.”
- Psalm 92:13-14 – “Those who are planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; they shall be fresh and flourishing.”
- Proverbs 13:22 – “A good man leaves an inheritance to his grandchildren, but the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.”
- Proverbs 17:6 – “Grandchildren are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.”
- 2 Timothy 1:3-5 – “I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience… greatly desiring to see you… when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.”
Works Cited
Williams, R., and D. Williams. Walking with Those Who Weep. Killen: RonDon Books, 2015.
Hodges, Samuel J., IV and Kathy Leonard. Grieving with Hope. Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2011.
God’s Little Devotional Book for Grandparents. Tulsa: Bordon Books, 2003.
