John DeFrain, Nick Stinnett and their colleagues have done extensive research with over 24,000 families since 1974 into what makes families strong. This ongoing research has revealed six qualities of strong families:
- Appreciation and Affection for Each Other – “Family members gave one another compliments and sincere demonstrations of approval. They tried to make others feel appreciated and good about themselves.”
- Valuing Each Other and Demonstrating Commitment – “Families promoted each person’s happiness and welfare, invested time and energy in each other and made family their number one priority.”
- Ability to Deal with Crises in a Positive Manner – “They were willing to take a bad situation, see something positive in it, and focus on that.”
- Time Together – “In all areas of their lives – meals, work, [and] recreation they structured their schedules to spend time together.”
- Good Communication Patterns – “These families spent time talking with each other. They also listened well, which shows respect.”
- Spiritual Well-Being – These strong families “considered themselves highly religious.”
“Spiritual Well-Being” has to do with the foundation of a family: their core values, code of conduct, sense of purpose and beliefs about life. No family is stronger than its foundation. That’s why it’s so important for us to build our families upon a solid foundation. Jesus identified the proper foundation for our lives and the lives of our families:
Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. (Matthew 7:24-27)
Our families encounter many “storms.” However, Jesus has promised that if we build our lives and our families upon the rock – which is Jesus Himself, the only sure Foundation (1 Corinthians 3:11) – by hearing and doing His Word, then we will be able to withstand those storms!
Building our families on the Rock directly shapes our relationships within the family, but it primarily has to do with our relationship with the Architect of the Family: God. Sin will destroy us and our families, but God loves us so much that He sent His Only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins (John 3:16).
Through Jesus, we can be reconciled to our Heavenly Father and also have the “tools” that we need to build a strong family. We build our lives on the Rock when we place our faith and trust in Jesus (Acts 16:30-31), turn from our sins in repentance (Acts 17:30-31), confess Jesus before men (Romans 10:9-10) and are baptized (immersed) into Christ for the forgiveness of our sins (Acts 2:38).
Strong families are built on the Rock. Why not begin with yourself! Are you building your life upon the Rock by hearing and doing the Word of God? Why not begin today?
