Interesting, isn’t it, what children learn to say at a young age. What joy fills the heart of a parent to hear the words “mommy” and “daddy” from their little ones. There is not as much joy, however, when close on the heels of such endearing terms follows terms like “mine!” Selfishness seems to start at an early age in life, and parents are challenged to instill the concept of sacrifice into their children, rather than allow such attitudes to go unchecked. It is unfortunate that our society seems to revel in selfishness, and many young people behave inappropriately, not having been taught and shown a more noble way to live.
As sad as this may be, it is just as sad to see this behavior in adults. In this case, it usually goes by other terms, like “I am just looking out for my best interests,” or “It makes good business sense” or “If you do not look out for yourself, who will?” Using such phrases as these, instead of saying, “I want it for myself” or “I’m being self-centered–so what?” is more socially acceptable, but the attitude of heart it reveals is no less undesirable. What does it say about a person who has become conditioned to getting what one wants, no matter the cost to others?
Sadder still is when such attitudes happen in those who are children of God. I do not know of too many Christians who would admit to being selfish. The practice of selfishness, as with any other sin, hardens the heart and anesthetizes one to its influence. We tend to rationalize such behavior, and why it is all right for us to act in such a manner. We do it often enough until we just do it and stop thinking about it. We fail to see in ourselves the motives at work or the desires that drive us. We wind up believing that getting what we want, when we want it, the way we want it is exactly what God wants for us. This deceptive element against what is right is what James warned against. “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth” (James 3:14).
We can conquer selfishness if we pray for ourselves, from the heart, every day, what Jesus Himself prayed in the garden. “Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). Self-will must give way to God’s will, and it takes a serious dose of self-honesty to achieve it. We must be truthful about what motivates us, about how our actions line up with the Word of God. “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). We must be self-controlled instead of self-willed (2 Timothy 3:2-3).
In many ways, the problems that beset us in our youth are still there for us to fight as we become adults. Selfishness, and the problems it can create for us in our relationships and in the Lord’s church, is one that can follow us all of our days if we do not allow the Word of God to transform us into the image of Christ (Philippians 2:5). Allowing our desires to motivate our actions is not Christ-like, and refusing to examine our hearts over what we say and do will not bring us to salvation. Being honest with ourselves is most difficult. Saying no to self is perhaps one of the hardest things we will ever be challenged to do. Yet, God’s abundant blessings are found only when we let go of self and cling to Christ. “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (Galatians 5:24). By whose will do you live?
