Every marriage has both good times and bad. A preview of this is often found in the wedding vows. We vow our undying love for better or for worse. Most of us hope for more of the better than we do of the worse. Yet, every marriage, no matter how good, has times of conflict and difficulty. So, what are some of the most common problems? Notice a few sources and solutions.
Money Problems
Money problems rank near the top of virtually every survey done on marital difficulties. Money in and of itself actually is not the problem. It is the abuse and misuse of money that is the problem. Some people are just not willing to compromise when it comes to what they want in life from a material standpoint. Because of this, married couples find themselves spending all they have earned and then some. God requires us to be good stewards (1 Corinthians 4:2), and this certainly includes being stewards of our money.
The first rule of money is to put God at the top of the list (Matthew 6:33). Having a budget is essential in managing money, but we must make sure we put God at the top of that budget. We also need to communicate together as husband and wife about the family finances. No major purchases should be made without consulting one’s mate. Finally, we must live within our means. Being content with what we have will take us a long way toward living within our means (Philippians 4:11).
Roles and Division of Labor
Today many households are two income households. Both the husband and wife work. This creates a more comfortable lifestyle for the family in terms of finances, but many times it creates havoc in terms of peace and harmony in the home. Both husbands and wives feel overwhelmed because there is so much work and so little time. The solution here is to let God lead the home and not allow the world to lead us (1 Timothy 5:8; Titus 2:5).
In-Laws
When you marry, you marry into a family. However, before long, there are conflicts many times with the family of one’s spouse. The key here is to never let family come between your marriage relationship. Always put each other before your mother, father, brothers, sisters, etc.
Busy Lives
Being too busy can harm family harmony. People today are busy working, busy recreating and busy with their children’s activities. Then, if they have time, they give God four hours of their week. Some folks run themselves into the ground and then wonder why they cannot be good husbands and good wives as well as good parents. The answer is to be balanced and do everything in moderation. Doing this will not only help your marriage, but it will also help your children. Remember they are watching our examples (1 Corinthians 11:1).
Communication
So many problems today could be avoided with communication. Expectations from both the husband and the wife go unfulfilled because there is no communication of those expectations. Problems go unidentified and unresolved because of a lack of communication between mates. So, what is the solution? Start today communicating. Talk to each other. When? All of the time. About what? Everything. This will help ease so many problems that come about because of the lack of communication. Be kind in this communication. There is no room for arguing in marriage. Arguing destroys peace and serenity in the home. When you face a problem, solve it quickly. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath (Ephesians 4:26).
A Work in Progress
Marriage is truly a work in progress. Whatever problems arise, we need to be ready to solve them. Today’s small problem can fester and turn into tomorrow’s catastrophe. We need to be ready and willing to improve our marriages, read books, go to marriage seminars and communicate about improvements that need to be made. If all else fails, we should be willing to go and get professional help. We take tax advice from accountants and health advice from doctors, but many are ashamed to seek advice for their marriages. If we face problems in marriage we need to be humble enough to admit it and smart enough to seek wise counsel. Only a Christian counselor will do. Advice in marriage is only good if it is based on God’s Word. If we keep doing things the same old way and expect different results, then we are fooling ourselves. Let us commit today to making our marriages the best they can be!
