Hello: I read the article about unequal yoking by T. Pierce Brown on your website. I understand what he was saying, about how the yoking with unbelievers itself is not wrong, but it is wrong only when the relationship requires the believer to do things against God’s word. That makes sense. If the relationship itself was sin then Paul would not instruct us to stay in a marriage with an unbeliever. But if that is true, then can you please explain Deuteronomy 7:3 to me? It says, “You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons, for they would turn away your sons from following me, to serve other gods. Then the anger of the Lord would be kindled against you, and he would destroy you quickly.” Doesn’t that say that marrying unbelievers is wrong? If that’s what it’s saying, then what T. Pierce Brown said in his article would be incorrect, wouldn’t it? I’m a Christian woman, but my fiancé is agnostic. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, and this has been bothering me a lot lately. I’m so afraid that I might have to break up with my fiancé because God’s word says we cannot be together. I’m really confused, please write back. Thank you. – Kimberly Chow
The basic confusion occurs because of not putting various portions of Scripture in their respective contexts. The most basic and first reasonable approach to understanding properly the Word of God is to note the biblical context of a given passage of Scripture. Each student of the Bible must ‘rightly divide the Word of God’ (2 Timothy 2:15).
In the case of the question posed, references to “unequally yoked together” from 2 Corinthians 6:14 and marriages to unbelievers from 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 are in the New Testament. On the other hand, Deuteronomy 7:3 is found in the Old Testament. These two testaments were given to different people in different time periods, and they represent similar but different laws of God.
No one living today is bound by Old Testament instructions because that law of God has been replaced by the New Testament (Romans 7:6-7; 2 Corinthians 3:6-7; Ephesians 2:15; Colossians 2:14; Hebrews 8:6-13). Some items in the Old Testament have been reinstituted in the New Testament, but they are authoritative today not because of their former inclusion in the Old Testament, but because of their inclusion in the New Testament. First century Christians were sternly warned throughout the Book of Galatians that they could not please God any longer by resorting to the Old Testament (Galatians 5:4).
Specifically, Deuteronomy 7:1-4 was given only to the Israelites as they were about to settle in Canaan. They were forbidden to contract marriages with the seven nations of pagans (verse 1) who were residing there. A similar scenario under Patriarchy, before Judaism, of godly and ungodly marrying occurred preceding the universal flood of Noah’s day (Genesis 6:2ff). Other references companion to Deuteronomy 7:1-4 are these: Exodus 34:15-16; Joshua 23:12-13; Judges 3:6-7; 1 Kings 11:2; Ezra 9:1-2; Nehemiah 13:23-27.
The stated reason for the prohibition against Israelites marrying pagans in Deuteronomy 7:1-4 appears in verse 4, namely that the idolatrous influence of those pagans would lead the people of God away from worshipping and serving Him; the cross references noted above contain the same information. Marrying unbelievers is an ever-present danger about which the apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18, though his warning also applies to other partnerships (e.g., business, social, etc.).
(A second perceived reason that the Israelites were forbidden from marrying non-Jews was that through the lineage of Abraham (Genesis 12:1-3; 22:17-18; Isaac Genesis 26:1-5; Jacob Genesis 28:13-14) the Messiah or Savior was to come. See the New Testament chronologies of Jesus Christ in Matthew 1:1-17 and Luke 3:23-38. Of course, the Messiah or Savior has already come, and this would no longer be a reason for anyone not marrying another.)
Incidentally, marriages between Christians and unbelievers in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 refer to instances where two non-Christians married each other, after which one of them became a Christian and one did not become a Christian. The marriage was still a valid marriage as far as God was concerned, though one marriage partner was a Christian and one marriage partner was not a Christian. New Testament passages do not seem to anticipate directly that a Christian would voluntarily choose to marry a non-Christian. Still, no restriction against such occurs in the New Testament except the warning of 2 Corinthians 6:14.
From both testaments of the Bible, we discern that it is not wise for a child of God to marry one who does not share that commitment to God. Though the New Testament does not prohibit marriage between Christians and non-Christians, it remains a dangerous undertaking to one’s Christian faith. When Christians marry, they can assist each other in Christian worship, Christian living, Christian service and godly parenting. Married Christians can help each other remain faithful that they both may enter heaven together (Revelation 2:10). The problems to the Christian faith and parenting can be and often are insurmountable when Christians and non-Christians wed. Usually, Christians fall away, or at the very least, the children of such a union fail to become Christians or pursue Christianity heartily. Yet, in the end, each individual must make decisions for himself or herself – after which at the Judgment Bar of God give an account for the life lived (2 Corinthians 5:10).
