Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
In the next few months (less than six) I will have the privilege, Lord willing, of performing two marriage ceremonies. Chad and Jessica are getting married in April. Then, in October my son Chris and his sweet fiancée Kari will be getting married. For some reason, as I was thinking of these upcoming nuptials, this passage popped into my mind. I do not imagine that Solomon, speaking by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, was talking specifically about marriage, but I do believe that these verses apply very aptly to a discussion of marriage.
In looking at this passage, I want to examine the very last phrase first: “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” His point is that an individual can be more easily overcome if he or she is alone. Two together are more likely to overcome. However, ultimately, he says a “threefold cord” is not easy to break. I picture a rope that is three strands intertwined. I cannot think of a more significant point for marriage: three makes a marriage truly strong and resilient: A husband, a wife and God. There will be so many things during the life of a married couple that will tear at the very fiber of their lives. If they are intertwined with one another, and especially if they have invited God to be a part of their marriage, they can stay strong and overcome. The trials of the world may cause some fraying, but they cannot overcome this three-fold relationship.
The idea, from verse 9, that two are better than one certainly fits the idea of marriage. What greater joy can there be than two laboring together, and being able to enjoy the fruits of their labor together. Husbands and wives should rejoice with each other, and support each other as they proceed through their life together. Selfishness has no part in a truly successful marriage.
Verse 10 speaks to another significant point in marriage. When one partner falls, the other is there to pick him or her up. When sickness comes, one mate will care for and help the sick mate. When problems arise for one mate, he or she can lean on the other one. It bothers me to hear someone say that marriage is a “50-50” proposition. The problem with that is that if you are called on to give more, then you resent it, and are angered by it. As a whole, marriage should be a 100-100 proposition, each giving it all. However, there are times when troubles, sickness or pressures will take a toll on one mate. At those times one may not be able to “give 100%,” and the other mate may have to give much more. That is when it will be seen if a marriage is truly strong or not!
Then, in verse 11 the question is asked, “How can one be warm alone?” The warmth and comfort of being able to hold the one that you love with all your heart in your arms is a marvelous blessing of marriage. Marriage should be a haven of comfort. Of course, there will be disagreements (it is the union of two individuals, with individual thoughts and emotions), but marriage should be predominantly a place of safety and love. It should be the one place where each individual can simply be himself or herself. Marriage should bring warmth of spirit, heart and body as each mate, literally and figuratively, folds the other mate into welcoming arms of love, care and tenderness. It should warm your heart every time you see your mate. It should be with deep contentment that you take your place by his or her side each night.
For Chad and Jessica, and for Chris & Kari, I say a prayer that their marriages will last for many years, and they will be truly successful marriages, based on love for each other and for God. May they feel the warmth of each other’s company within their individual marriages. May they be strong in overcoming the trials they will undoubtedly face, but may they share the warmth of each other’s love that makes each day worth living, and each new event truly a blessed adventure. Two committed souls are truly better than one, when it comes to a happy marriage.
