If a couple is living in an adulterous marriage are they supposed to stop living together or are they supposed to get a divorce too?
Some of the details regarding the sinful situations into which people get themselves are not specifically stated in the New Testament. Under those circumstances, it may be necessary to use one’s best judgment as one earnestly tries to follow what Scripture does specify. Further, there is usually a course of action that can be pursued by which one can have full assurance that he or she has made necessary amendment to his or her life (i.e., a way that cannot be wrong).
In the case under consideration, that means a man and a woman who discover that they are in a biblically adulterous marriage (1) must stop cohabiting (i.e., sleeping together), and (2) they may want to obtain a legal divorce to make sure that they have done everything that God requires to absolve themselves of adultery.
Right or wrong, brethren in modern history have approached this increasingly common situation with various remedies while trying to conform to New Testament teaching about marriage, divorce and remarriage. Especially when young children are involved (though children do not mitigate responsibilities respecting marriage, divorce and remarriage, Ezra 10:3, 44), if it is not common knowledge that a man and a woman have no biblical right to be married to each other, some preachers have advised such couples to refrain from sleeping together though they may continue to live in the same house. In some instances, this has apparently proved to be a workable circumstance as far as refraining from sexual relations. In other instances, the arrival of yet another child into the family signals the abject failure of such a living arrangement. If it is common knowledge that a couple is in a biblically adulterous marriage, probably the only way to avoid the appearance of sin, thereby bringing reproach on the Lord’s church, would be to separate from each other. Whether one obtains a legal divorce may depend on whether not obtaining a legal divorce will bring reproach on the local church; however, obtaining a legal divorce may not be a factor that is public knowledge.
John the Baptist instructed religious leaders in his day to “Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance” (Matthew 3:8). Irrespective of what sin anyone may be guilty, part of repentance involves amendment of one’s conduct. Respecting marriage, divorce and remarriage, a person may find himself or herself in circumstances where God does not permit him or her to enter into marriage. Jesus Christ referred to this in Matthew 19:12 following his announcement of the restoration of God’s original plan for marriage and the disciples’ complaint about God’s strictures.
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. (Matthew 19:9-12)
We may have to make ourselves eunuchs (figuratively) for the kingdom’s sake. The details of how exactly we do that may be a matter of personal judgment, subject to review by Jesus Christ in the Final Judgment.
