I have a few questions for you to answer me. If a christian husband and a father comes home from work and finds his home not in order physically and spiritually, Is he lacking God’s knowledge? What about when his children and wife are not obedient. What happens to a man, if he is always busy doing dishes, washing clothes and his wife cannot be bothered. The man of the house has no outside interest, does not go to prayer and no fellowhip with other believers on a regular basis. This man’s wife stays home and does not effectively discplines her children. Do you have any material that I can pass on to them. I have tried over 15 years to councel them. ~ Sarv Sohal
First, if over the “15 years” you have endeavored to ‘counsel’ the family mentioned, you have taught the biblical truths respecting how God intends the home to work, and they have not used your counsel appropriately, it is unlikely that the circumstances to which you refer will change regardless of what additional efforts or materials are expended upon them. Second, possessing freewill and having individual responsibility, humans can ignore if they choose instructions that are in their best interest; hence, the ultimate responsibility for any accountable soul’s action is his own. However, we are pleased to address making the home work as God intended.
From near the dawn of mankind’s habitation on planet earth, God designed complementary or mutually helping (but different) roles for the man and the woman. Woman was created to be a “help meet” for man (Genesis 1:18). God formed the first family when he brought Eve to Adam (Genesis 1:22). After Adam and Eve sinned, God definitively prescribed the relationship between the respective roles of women and men (Genesis 3:16-19). From that time and throughout Patriarchy (Adam to Moses), Judaism (Moses through Jesus Christ) and Christianity (from Christ through the present) the roles of women and men have been fixed by God (Proverbs 31:31; Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18-19; 1 Timothy 2:8-15; 1 Peter 3:1-7). The following passage demonstrates God’s will for making the home work, as it pertains to the woman, and the preceding citations and biblical references from Patriarchy through the present likewise teach.
“But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:1-5).
The summary of various biblical references to making the home work the way God intended includes: (1) The man is primarily responsible (under ordinary circumstances) to support his family, and (2) the woman is primarily responsible (under ordinary circumstances) for rearing the children of the home and providing a hospitable place for her husband and their children. Whatever else either the man or the woman may pursue, they cannot ignore their primary, respective responsibilities without disobeying God and his Word. A man may help around the house while neither ignoring his primary responsibility nor displacing his wife’s primary, God-given responsibility. A woman may help her husband or even help earn the living while neither ignoring her primary responsibility nor displacing her husband’s primary, God-given responsibility.
For instance, when my wife and I both do things that ordinarily fall under my responsibility, she is my helper. When my wife and I both do things that ordinarily fall under her responsibility, I am her helper. There are also many things in making a home work that are shared responsibilities where a husband and a wife simply share those activities. Yet, the husband and father of the home is ultimately responsible for his home to God.
God intended the husband and father to provide for his home (1 Timothy 5:8; 2 Thessalonians 3:10) and rule his household (1 Timothy 3:5). God intended the wife and mother to provide the home environment for her husband and their children (Titus 2:5). God intended children in the home to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1-4). The entire family is required to worship God at the appointed times (Hebrews 10:25). Christian fellowship should be sought (Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 2:17).
