No sooner had the smoke cleared from the school massacre in Littleton, Colorado than some were saying that they have already forgiven the murderers. Often we hear of a victim who says he has forgiven an assailant before and without them even asking to be forgiven. This brings up the question, is it our duty to forgive those who sin against us when they neither ask for nor want our forgiveness? The answer is no.
Those who claim to do this are suggesting that forgiveness is the elimination of bitter and uncharitable feelings toward those who sin against us, substituting a disposition of good will for the offending party, and they insist that such is to always characterize Christians. But, God never entertains bitter, revengeful and uncharitable feelings toward even the vilest sinners among us, yet he forgives only those who repent (Luke 13:3; Acts 2:38).
Forgive means “to send forth, send away,” and thus denotes the restoration of a peaceful relationship that the offender had interrupted. Jesus said, “If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him” (Luke 17:3). Paul wrote of a censured and sorrowful brother asking the Corinthians to forgive and restore love to him (2 Corinthians 2:4-7). If one sins against us, we must not nurse either malice or revenge against him. Forgiveness requires repentance on the part of the offending party and the extending of it on the part of the one offended.
