One wedding that I conducted was for a very unlikely couple. The man was very short and small while the woman was just the opposite. She was very tall and towered over her husband. All the neighbors were outside viewing the couple after the wedding. One neighbor called me over. He said to me, “If I were a boxer and you were a matchmaker, I wouldn’t want you working for me.”
At one wedding when the groom’s group had all gone to the room waiting the beginning of the wedding, the door suddenly opened and we were told that one of the tuxedos was minus a pair of pants. The groom asked whose pants were missing. I replied that if he would just wait a few minutes he would be able to tell pretty quickly.
A family in the church had invited the preacher to come to their house for Sunday dinner. They went on ahead to make preparations for the meal. Upon arriving home, the pet Poodle was let out of the house for a few minutes. The preacher arrived at the front door and the man of the house opened the door to let him in. The wife hearing the noise thought that the Poodle was coming back in and called to her husband to grab him quick and wipe his feet before he got on the carpet. The preacher was surprised and later said that he had never received such a greeting.
A couple had invited a lady who was not a member of the church to accompany them to a Gospel meeting. One responded with the request to be baptized. While the preparations were being made, the song leader got too close to the edge of the baptistery and fell in. The visitor leaned over to the couple that brought her and said, “My, they do it quick.”
One Sunday morning a man came forward to be baptized. We proceeded to the dressing room where he changed clothes and was ready to be baptized. Upon getting his foot in the water, he refused to go on into the water. A well-meaning brother thought he might need a glycerin tablet and came to offer it. This was not needed. A brother in the flesh came into the dressing room and got into an argument with his brother. This conversation was heard all over the building. We finally returned to the auditorium because the man was afraid of water. He just could not make himself go down into the water. At 6:00 A.M. the next morning, this man showed up at my door and wanted to try again. Once again, we had the same results. Later that week he was baptized. On Sunday evening after this had occurred, two more people responded to the invitation. The first requested baptism. I then asked the second one if she came to be baptized. She replied in a very loud voice that she had already been baptized three times. The whole audience heard this response. I talked with her for a while and she agreed to be baptized. One elder came to me after the services and asked me how I replied to her statement that she had been baptized three times. He had heard her comment but he could not hear my reply. I told him that I told her I had trouble with that man this morning who backed out of the water and I didn’t want any trouble with her. Really, I did not say this! When we baptized the lady, I gave her instructions about what I was going to do and what I wanted her to do. She looked at me with a blank expression and said, “What?” I repeated and she still was unable to hear. It finally dawned on me that she had put earplugs in her ears. I had to nearly shout to get her to hear. This amused the crowd and especially the children. When I brought her up from the water, she spit water all over the place. The young people could hold back no longer and burst forth with laughter. This was a long day and a time when you question your wisdom in deciding to be a preacher.
[Editor’s Note: Preachers are invited to submit amusing incidents that have occurred over the years during their ministries for possible inclusion in the pages of Gospel Gazette Online. Someday, these stories may also be converted to book format.]